To The Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Here Are Some Tips For This Valentine’s Day

Feb 13, 2020Relationships + Faith

Whether single, dating, engaged, or married, YOU are loved On Valentine’s Day. Here are some quick tips we have come up with over the years that we have been single, dating, engaged, and married. Enjoy!

If You Are Single.

Where you are in life is not going to be forever. There are seasons in this life that we have to endure in order to move on to the next. Just like how there are four seasons throughout the year, winter can be brutal sometimes, but when the flowers start to bud, it feels amazing and worth enduring through the harsh winter months.

Be single and be happy, treat yourself to a fancy dinner, hang out with friends or family and just have fun. Be yourself and treat yourself. You earned it and you deserve it.

Seeing everyone’s juicy lovey-dovey posts on social media can make you feel depressed seeing chocolates and flowers everywhere. Just so you know that the feeling of love can be filled through other avenues.

Big Tip: If you need to delete your social media apps temporarily for 24 hours, then go for it! It could help you not get down on yourself by missing out on the “love feelings”.

Just so you know, you are already loved by God.

 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
-Jeremiah 31:3

 

I (Lianna) remember whenever I was single for over three years before I met David, my now-husband, every Valentine’s Day, I made sure to be doing something on that day or night (if I had school).

Even if that meant calling up my friends that are single and have fun. Like, the newly named “Galentine’s Day”.

Another thing I would make sure to say or text “Happy Valentine’s Day” to people around me. First of all, if you are struggling with being single, it takes the focus off of you and think more about others that could also be struggling.

 

Quick Tips If You Are Single

  • Treat yourself (examples: get coffee, go out to eat, watch a movie with your family or friends…)
  • Avoid getting on your social media apps, if you genuinely do not want to see Valentine’s posts or stories online.
  • Plan to do something fun on Valentine’s Day ahead of time.
  • Valentine’s Day is not forever. It is just one day.
  • Say or text people “Happy Valentine’s Day” to make others feel good, especially for other single friends.
  • Hang out with your other single friends (or your family!)

 

If You Are Dating.

Just telling y’all straight up (especially if you are in high school or just got out of high school) the person that you are dating is most likely not your forever person. Not saying he or she is not the one. I (Lianna) had a boyfriend in high school, but guess what, we aren’t still together. But here’s our point.

Pro Tip: If you have a friend that is single and is having a difficult time, maybe this is the time for you to plan out a fun, chill hangout night with your friends, instead of going out with your boyfriend or girlfriend on that one night.

 

Just show love for each other.

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
-John 15:12

 

You can always plan to go out with your boyfriend or girlfriend on another night. It’s just being thoughtful and considerate of your single friends, especially if you knew they were not doing anything for Valentine’s Day.

Another thing to note is that Valentine’s Day is not forever. It is just ONE day. The world says that you have made it if you are “have someone” for Valentine’s Day. However, it is not the ultimate goal.

Be thoughtful for your boyfriend or girlfriend, but don’t get too crazy like getting a ginormous teddy bear or something like that. If you really see yourself with the person you’re with for the future and possibly married, spend intentional time with them.

If you truly do not have any single friends that need a friend for Valentine’s Day, then have a fun time celebrating your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you want.

 

Quick Tips If you are Dating

  • If you have a single friend that he/she is having a difficult time, be a good, loving friend by planning out a fun, chill hangout night.
  • You can always go out on a date with your boyfriend/girlfriend on another day/night.
  • Valentine’s Day is not forever. It is just one day.
  • Be thoughtful for your boyfriend or girlfriend, but don’t go too crazy.

 

If You Are Engaged

This could be your first (or second) Valentine’s Day as an engaged couple. It’s so exciting to be with someone that you know that you are going to marry in just a few weeks or months! But, don’t put too much pressure on Valentine’s Day as well. Be thoughtful and simple.

If you think about it, this could set a precedent going into marriage if your expectations are high. Not saying that in marriage, your spouse does not care because that is not the case.

But, whenever you get married, it is much more difficult to go all out for your spouse just because…they do not necessarily need to. Just being honest here.

Pro Tip: Talk, talk, talk it out with your fiance or fiancee. Manage your expectations for this Valentine’s Day as an engaged couple and also going into marriage.

Also, Valentine’s Day is not your wedding day (or night). If you are both Christians and want to do things right in God’s eyes, be sure to be careful on this day.

You can feel romantic and all lovey-dovey but be thoughtful beforehand on where you will celebrate. Maybe instead of being alone on a little get-away trip, plan a group trip with friends or family to avoid temptations.

 

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
-1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

 

Lianna and I (David) talk more about this in episode 8 of The Simple Mission Podcast, “Our Struggle With Purity During Dating and Engagement” and we seriously get real because we want you to know, if you have struggled or are still struggling, we were in the exact same boat as you are in.

 

Quick Tips If you are Engaged:

  • State out your expectations to your fiance/fiancee for Valentine’s Day.
  • Speak about how you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a married couple.
  • Remember that Valentine’s Day is not your wedding day (or night).
  • Be intentional on how you spend time together on Valentine’s Day if you are both desiring to follow God’s Word before and after marriage.

 

If You Are Married

Talk, talk, talk to your spouse on what their expectations are for Valentine’s. We know we have already stated this earlier in the engaged section, but this is true. Do not feel pressured or put pressure on your spouse.

First of all, Valentine’s Day is not the only day to show love to your spouse.

Pro Tip: In our marriage, we do small things for each other during the week like, writing a sweet post-it-note and leaving it somewhere your spouse find find it. Picking up coffee for your spouse randomly treating them to something sweet.

You have an opportunity everyday to show love. But, at the same time, manage your expectations by being open with your spouse on what you want to do (& what you want them to do.)

 

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
-1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NIV

 

Be simple and get a plan beforehand. Plan out what you’re going to do and let your spouse know about it and follow through with the plans.

If you rather stay in & watch a movie, that’s fine. If you want to go out for dinner, go see a movie, ride a bike, do crazy things in the bedroom, or all of the above, then go for it and have fun.

Another Pro Tip: It is okay to toss a little unexpected surprise in their direction to keep things spicy. Have fun with your spouse, it is okay too!

Most important is to have fun!!! Whether it is at dinner, at a movie, playing golf or getting romantic in the bedroom. Simply spice things up you will be surprised at how much fun you could have.

Date each other intentionally, and don’t choose only Valentine’s Day to do this. If you feel too pressured for Valentine’s Day, then talk it out and maybe decide to not be so pressured for one night in the 365 days out of the year.

 

Quick Tips If you are Married

  • Talk to your spouse on what their expectations are for Valentine’s Day.
  • Valentine’s Day is not the only day to show love to your spouse.
  • Plan out what you want to do and let your spouse know about it and follow through.
  • Have fun together.
  • Don’t choose to only date intentionally for Valentine’s Day. Choose to do this during the year as well.

 

We hope you enjoyed the post. Let us know down below on what your favorite tip was or if you have any more great tips in mind for Valentine’s Day.
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Thank you for reading,

 

David & Lianna Bond

Co-founders of The Simple Mission

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